If you both determine to have an abortion and make it to the clinic, ask the clinic staff these questions:

• What kind of abortion will she have? Will it be chemical or surgical? Ask about the risks. It’s important that you both sit through any discussion about the abortion procedure. Most women will appreciate a man who wants to be with them through this difficult time.
• Who is the doctor and what are his credentials? Be sure to write down his name. Don’t let her sign any papers that might release him from any liability if he hurts her.
• Check to see if the clinic is clean and sanitary. Many clinics are never inspected by governmental agencies. As a result, they can provide sub-standard care to their patients. If the clinic doesn’t appear spotless, find another one or better yet, come to a Pregnancy Resource Center found under “Abortion Alternatives” in the yellow pages or online.
• If they offer ultrasounds, insist on being allowed to view the screen. Both of you have a right to view any medical tests that are being conducted and to make sure there is a viable pregnancy before having a procedure that is not needed.  Our Pregnancy Medical Practice can also offer you a no-cost ultrasound performed by trained RN’s under the direction of an OB/GYN provider.
• Should your girlfriend/wife have any doubts, take her home. There is no rush to make this decision. Any hesitation on her part could mean significant regrets in the future. Always remind her that you will support her in the pregnancy and don’t want to push her into something she doesn’t want to do.
• Accompany her throughout the clinic. Should the clinic staff seek to isolate you from your girlfriend/wife be immediately suspicious and ask her to leave with you for the time being. She needs you now more than ever and she also needs someone to ensure that she isn’t hurt in any way. Whatever the clinic rules are, there is no reason you cannot hold her hand through this procedure.Remember that abortion doesn’t erase a mistake – it only adds new ones. Abortion is PERMANENT. There is no “undoing” this decision. Wait and research all your options and know that we are here to help with free, confidential counseling and assistance.

After Abortion

If you choose abortion or already have participated in this decision, be prepared that both of you may experience what is called “Post-Abortion Syndrome” or “Post-Abortion Stress”. According to many studies that have been done on this subject, you may experience one or many of the following problems:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of being judged
• Fear of making decisions
• Fear of taking risks
• Feeling of defeat
• Feeling unworthy
• Depression
• Guilt
• Shame
• Panic Attacks
• Addictions
• Suicidal thoughts
• Sexual dysfunctions
• Sense of loss

And many other symptoms.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, understand that you are not alone and our center exists to help you. There is healing available after an abortion. Feel free to contact us at 951-699-9808 or email us at birthchoice@temvalley.com.